Jackson

He is turning into such a gentleman.(Sometimes) The other day he ran around to my truck door and said, "my help you out Mamma. " And he grabbed my hand tried to hand me out of the truck. It was super cute.
The other day we were singing "you are holy, you are holy, you are holy seated on the throne of my life" and I said , "Jack you can sing this." He looks at me and says Holy Cow! :) It was so funny.
Today, after exercising, I let him walk on the treadmill and asked him if he wanted to be done. "No Mamma, give me two more seconds." (Have I mentioned he is two and a half?) There are so many things that he says that are funny and I try to remember them, but alas, I don't! I will try to be better.

Parenting

What makes a good parent? What choices do you have to make to fit that mold? And what in tartnation does that mold look like? I was totally sucked into reading a LONG article on vaccinations and basically the stupidity of people who don't vaccinate. I also found another blog about why there are those of us who question the establishment and don't vaccinate our children. It made me reexamine my motives and reasons for not vaccinating.

Here are the blogs.
Pro vaccinate: http://bostonwed-murakami.blogspot.com/2013/09/vaccination-laypersons-perspective_26.html?m=1

Anti vaccinate:http://www.modernalternativemama.com/blog/2013/08/26/monday-health-wellness-why-the-anti-vaccine-movement-exists/

My initial reaction when reading pro vax stuff is instant distrust and anger at being called irresponsible, ignorant, neglectful, stupid, unwise etc etc etc. It pisses me off that the immediate response of so many is that "you idiot, you believe false information and are going to not only kill your child, but all the people with weakened immune systems!"
My reasons for not vaccinating?

1. I think that part of the reason my mom felt not to vaccinate us was because of me. I have many auto immune system disorder markers. Skin issues, allergies, and digestive issues. - perhaps if she had immunized me, I would be that one in a million person who's life is destroyed by complications. And so because those auto immune diseases are in fact hereditary, I'm no comfortable risking MY children being that one in a million. I'm sorry, it's not my job to be the mother of all the kids in the US. It's my job to do what I think it right for my two. 
2. I seriously don't trust the established policy on vaccinations because of the enormous money behind it. When there is SO much money in any area there is greed and power and I don't believe that those people making the decisions on what vaccinations are necessary, are not influenced by nothing more then money. 
3. I don't trust that all the scientist doing all the research telling me that it's best to give my children these vaccinations are really looking out for my wellbeing or that of my kids more then the wellbeing of their research projects, their jobs and their livelihoods.
4. I'm not even close to being able to read and understand study after study after study of information on this subject and being told that "googling" it is not good enough and reading studies on the internet aren't good enough and by the way you can only know enough to make a decision by going to med school and reading enough medical journals and studies (and understanding what the heck they are saying) and paying for subscriptions to medical journals etc etc...  I don't have any way to know what is a valid study and what isn't. I don't have enough time, money or energy to get so versed in all the science that I actually am educated about EXACTLY what vaccination's benefits and harms are. All I have is some information that I have found and my instinct as a mother. 
5. No I don't trust doctors. I'm sorry they are just people and often times too busy to give a damn about me or my issues or my concerns with their established protocol. I've had SO many experiences of the ignorance of doctors who don't try to find out the real problem, but only treat symptoms that I have NO faith in some pediatrician telling me that "no, no, everything will be great and dandy when you inject your two month old with viruses!"   

Those are some of my reasons, though not totally extensive as I don't dare quote any of the information that I've found because it's bound to be debunked as totally false and ridiculous. But I can't quiet the fear that if I do go ahead and vaccinate, I'll be doing the wrong thing, so I'm not going to until I feel otherwise.

I also read this article which is a really good reminder that we shouldn't be parenting while comparing with everyone else..

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/my-choice-to-parent-differently-does-not-imply-your-way-is-wrong

Potty Training

Where do we start? Jackson is so aggressively uninterested that it makes it hard to even want to try to get him into it.
We have been nudging him ever so gently to sit on the potty. Last night he actually pooped on the potty, but I think it was more of a matter of him having diarrhea and happening to be sitting on the potty then actually feeling the urge and making the connection.
We did a big party for him, so hopefully that will encourage a return performance.
These are my thoughts for how to proceed from here.

• Get a goody bag: Fill it with special treats and let him decorate it. 
• Get a Sticker Chart: Get fun, truck & airplane & train stickers and let him help decorate it. 
• Decorate the potty: Let him go wild with the potty. 
• Get fun pull ups: make them interesting 

I am going to try the above and see if we can't generate some interest.


As far as Emma goes, she is thriving and doing wonderfully. She is still nursing six times a day which seems like a lot to me. But I don't remember what I was doing with Jackson at that point. I am also feeding her oatmeal twice a day and will probably increase it sometime in the next month. I LONNNNNGGG for the day when I can put her to bed at 8 or 8:30 and actually have an evening.  I think part of that is going to be not letting her sleep so long in the morning, but it's SOOO nice to have a little bit extra sleep on the rare days when I get to sleep in. She is getting more dexterous all the time and can now grab things and pass things back and forth. She can also sort of sit up with a little help and she's rolling ALL OVER THE PLACE!

As for me, like I said, I LOONNNGG for a little break. Just a day or even a night and morning to sleep until I wake up on my own. I am weary of always being needed and having demands on my time, body and energy. But really, it's not all that bad, I'm just going into the long, dark and cold of winter in Alaska and wish I didn't already feel to drained and TIRED!
 We'll make it and I really don't want Emma to get big too fast. Tonight she was sitting next to Nathaniel and flirting away with him. It was so cute. She is probably the most friendly, smily baby ever. :)

Five months

It's been five months and change since I pushed this little darling out.

Isn't she beautiful? I love her so much! She is 16.8 lbs & getting close to 26" long. She's sweet and smiles and coos and makes herself friendly to all.
I am so thankful that she is here with us. Making our family that much more wonderful.
Favorite things she does? She reaches up and grabs my nose and face while nursing. She'll grab my hand and put it where she wants it. She rolls and laughs around the floor. She'll wave her legs around and scream in pure enjoyment. She's always ready to laugh and smile and her little grins make my days so much more enjoyable. She is now eating oatmeal & apple and enjoying it VERY much! She is eating it twice a day, though she still randomly wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.

Jackson is growing in leaps and bounds and the way he talks is astonishing to everyone. The other night he put his arms around me and told me "my holding you back mamma" He talks about everything. Recently it's been all about the owls and the moose daddy shot. He wan't us to make up and sing songs all about daddy shooting the moose and the owls in the trees.
He's also being exceedingly naughty. He is pushing every boundary and asserting himself ALL. THE. TIME! It's so hard to remember that he is two and I am an adult and I am not going to argue and fight with a two year old like another two year old. I have been trying to remember to teach in my discipline and not just bully because I am frustrated.
He is so creative and such a great boy. It takes me by surprise every time he says "Please Mamma" and "tank qou" without prompting. It gives me hope that all the work it actually being effective!
I love my life and my family. That's not to say that at times all I want to do is sleep or go sit in a quiet room by myself and not have anyone need anything from me, but I do love my little family so much!

And here we all are.

And more pics of Emma because she is too stinkin CUTE!