This, that and the other thing

Tomorrow, I get to see my nephews.... very fun. I don't think I've ever enjoyed being with a small chap like I have with Tylar.. He is SO funny. For all you unfortunates who don't know him, he is two and half and speaks English shorthand. It is so funny. He abreviates all words. He says the first couple of letters of every word and amazingly enough get's his point across most of the time. The other day he had his mom call me and then wouldn't talk to me. But then when I called a couple days later he got on the phone and said "Ha auny nel, whe fow wa saw gra, " etc and then he told me he "lauv oo" which totally stole my heart of course. He also calls Amy Ahmy which is quite cute. (By the way, he's a typical child as well which means he's strong willed and diobediant by nature, but he's really getting way better) Anyhoo, Brenden is wonderful too, just not as amusing at this time in his young life. (he'll be a year in January) It is offically fall here. The trees are turning and it's very cold outside. Ok not VERY cold, but cold enough to make wearing a jacket vital. Oh well, winter will come and go and then spring and next year I'll get married! YES! Sorry I get a wee bit excited.
:)

Is now a good time to panic or should I come back later?

Sometimes you just feel a wee bit too overwhelmed with life to actually try to deal with each little instance and situation. For instance, relationshps... there are so many to be worked on, (not that they are in need of repair, but it is vital to "work" with them to keep them good and alive and all that good stuff.) and yet sometimes, you just don't care and you don't want to worry about how that friend who is walking by is doing, or the person that you don't really know that you feel like you should probably get to know them, but don't have the energy to make an effort. It's really something that I think about every once in a while and know that I should for sure make those efforst and I do, just sometimes you just don't feel like it. Anyhoo there you have it in a 'nutshell' as is were. I must dash and go be with the one relationship I haven't gotten weary of at anytime. And for all the synics out there, I might just be able to work with God's help enough to always work for that relationship. Let's hope. I love you all... mostly

Away went the smoke

These are a few of the wonderful people in my life. Cheers to all of you in all corners of the globe..
The smoke is gone, wonders of wonders... And the silt it here. Here in the lovely Delta Jct. AK we are currently experiencing 50 mph winds... It is lovely. We enjoy this kind of weather.. Ok, so we don't enjoy it entirely... when the silt actually pulls the skin from you face, but I do find strong winds to be very invigorating. I mean it's a battle and a fight against nature.. Sure you probably won't win, but it's a blast trying... yes I realize I wierd. But it just means I'll have more fun on a windy day then you will. :)
Ta and my the wind be always at your back.

My God, How long? How long will we be smoked!

I am sitting in my room on what is supposed to be a glorious day. This may seem wierd to you, which it would be under normal circumstances.. But these are NOT normal circumstances! Praise be, it's so thick with smoke outside that it's hard to breath, and you can barly make out that there's even a sun in the sky, let alone that it's supposed to be shinning brightly. This makes me very angry, considering the nasty summer we've had and the fact that it is now fall, and we'll be getting the good old snow back soon. At this point it will be a relief. Oh well. Maybe next summer will be great. (Not likely)
Anyhoo.. exciting things that have happend.. well, Dan came home from being away for a long time and that is really fun and wonderful of course.. And let me see, unfortunately both Megumi and Hilary are leaving next week. Very sad! Oh well what can you do? But hopefully the roommates of next year will be as wonderful and roommates of yore, and yes Boj, that does include you! Emerson said some really good things in opening this morning. He was talking about not hating the weakness in us because God put it there to show us we need Him, and that there's no shame in it if you lean on God and get your strength from Him... not to mention abide in Him. It really ment something to me because so many times when I screw up, I barate myself to within an inch of my life because I think that I should be strong enough not to miss it and do dumb things. And it's true when you do that it's harder to go back and talk to God about it. Anyway, something I was thinking about.
I think I shall go now and do more productive things. Like laundry.
Love to all

This is my sweetie and me... he's so cute. :)

What is life without love, or living without conflict?

I just want to put out there, that it is so fun to be in love! I can't believe how much fun it is. It's just the best, even when we fight. Actually conflict makes it better. Now, I realize that in the future, we'll have greater conflict and have to work harder to love each other. But I am of the opinion that it is completely unnecessary to dwell on future fights and conflicts. Why shouldn't I enjoy this time where it's incredably easy to love him.... I am totally a lost cause.... and I could sit here and ramble on and on about how much I love him and he me etc, etc...but I fear that all who read this would soon be bored. But I am going to creat a blog for just he and me where we can post things and such to each other and pics and all that good stuff. Very fun really. It's been quite an adventure and it promises to continue. The biggest conflict of course is the waiting a year before we can get married. And yes, I am aware that it's not a betrothal... (though, personally I think that it's what you make it and I know neither of use would have started this if we hadn't been sure that we wanted to marry each other.) But anyhoo, I don't have to argue the point with anyone.
Other then the obvious, I have been thinking about dicipline and how much I value it in other people and the areas that I have conquered it. I love it. But beware because it can slip when you relax just a wee little bit. I speak of exercise... I have let myself only exercise five days instead of the regimental six. The thinking was that because of all the sports I was playing, that it really would be fine. Now, I must return to six, and that is hard. But I have done it for two years now, so I should have the ability to do it again. I WILL ! There... now I have spoken it, I must do it.
Anything else? Oh Joanna, darling Joanna, stop it. You know you can't get forgiveness by hating yourself..... and you know you can't forgive yourself while you are beating yourself up. (I think I have a good idea of why you are raging against yourself, but I could be wrong, though I doubt it) You know you've had victories. Keep that in the front of your mind and never stop going back to God. He can't help you if you don't ask.
I love you all, but especially Danny!

Blessed Be the Laundry Day forevermore amen!

Oh How I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just tried to publish a very large bog and the *&*$&(#*&($* thing didn't go through, though it said it did and now I have to retype the dumb thing!!!!!! AHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry that really vexes my spirit, in fact it does SO much that I don't know if I'll be able to calm down and type in this wretched thing. Maybe I will, but I do need to go work out, so we'll see. Sigh... I am calm now. Itsn't it fun to be on laundry all those who have laundry day and know what I am talking of? I love it! At this point I have no responsibility and I get to do whatever I please, which is wondeful... Alas I must return to the working world tomorrow.. sigh.. oh well.. I could really use a month of laundry days. By the end of it I would either be enormously fat or bored or lazy as all get out or a combination of all three. Previously I blogged about how discusted I was with the "worlds" obcession with sex. I read two magazines, and both were just cover to cover sex advertisements. Everything sexual and nasty.. I find it disgusting that a magazine publishes articles such as "how to have steamy summer sex." I mean come on! It's essentially soft porn and it's perverse that it's normal reading material! It's a sick society when it's HIGHLY unusual to be in your twentie and be a virgin. It's sick and it's perverse and I am sad that I have to live in such a time... though in reality the world has always been as sick and perverse as it is now, but it seemed like it wasn't quite so flagrant about it...
But there is hope.. thank God... And I don't have to be involved with it or read nasty magazines, which I don't normally, but Megumi happened to have them... no excuse.. we won't go there again.
Food for thought.