Emma Joy is one!

It's been a crazy year. It was 32 degrees the evening Emma was born. I was exhausted from no sleep and the emotional HELL of labor and delivery and the nagging questions of, "will I really have her today or will I stall out like last time and have three days of never ending contractions and sleep deprivation?" I don't do well with not being in control and that aspect of labor it the hardest one for me. I don't have any say in when, or how or how long. It happens when it happens and short of going to get induced and taking drugs to deal with the pain of pitocin contractions, there is nothing to be done about it.

My reflections of that day are varied. Some very are very happy and some make me wince. I remember being in so much pain I wanted to go get and epidural at the hospital. I remember that I kept hitting my forehead on the side of the tub, because the deflected pain helped me deal with the overwhelming pain. (I had a bruise for days afterwards.. :)

I remember the amazing feeling of totally relaxing when I got into the hot shower after I had been shaking and shivering and feeling totally tense, out of control and unable to cope. That moment probably marks the greatest polar shift I have ever experienced from horrible discomfort to comfort in a minute.

And of course I remember the moment she came out, the relief of not having to push anymore or have anymore contractions.. (HA! The after birth pain was HORRENDOUS with this second pregnancy. and I hear it gets worse with each child you have.) I picked her up and she was all purple and not breathing, like Jackson, though he was much more limp. Dana came in with the mask and air bag and gave her two puffs and the sweet relief! She coughed and started to squeak and cry a bit.

I also loved just laying there in the bed with her and with Dan beside me. Getting that time, just us, no visitors, no hospital staff, no relatives what probably the highlight for me. I absolutely loved it.

When I look back now, I can see little glimpses of her personality peeping out. I handed her to Dan to get a little snuggling in so I could sit up and focus on the prodding and cramping that was happening to me. She took one sniff of him and let out a yell of protest. "What the heck?! You're NOT my mom!" It's so her.

This little Emma girl is a ball of fire! She has so many quirks and she makes me laugh all the time. She is strong willed and stubborn. (How could she not be with parents such as us?) She loved to be involved with whatever is happening and strongly objects to being marginalized. She threw a fit yesterday when I wouldn't let her crawl down the road with her brother and his friend.

She loved to give little kisses. I rock her for a few minutes before she goes to bed, signing to her and just generally loving on her. She'll cuddle down on my chest with her blanket and her thumb in her mouth, then look up at me and pucker up, kiss me then flop back down. Then she'll do it again. And again. And again. She is just a light. She will smile at anyone and oh my! How this girl loves her Daddy!

She has six teeth going on eight and she is determined to get around. She likes to push chairs and other heavy objects around. I wouldn't be surprised if she is full out walking within the next month. She's long and thin. Very much different then Jackson. (My back still hurts from lugging him around!)
I love her little hands and her narrow little feet. She is in every way a little girl.

I am so blessed to have two such beautiful, fun, lively, engaging children! Will there be a third? Who knows? I just want to focus on how we are now as a family as I now know that time FLIES by, and within a blink of the eye, they are grown up.